The ICD's New Boots

Stopped At Stage One

Time, where does it go?  Anyways, been a while since I've posted anything, but I am happy to say I am back in the writing saddle once more.  Some big progress on the Imperial Car Destroyer, and I can't wait to share it with you.  I, your humble Captain of this mighty vessel, have undertaken, and accomplished the biggest mechanical task I have ever attempted - both figuratively and quite literally.  So, what is this monumental task of mechanic'ing that rests before us you ask?  Well, let me tell you...  The Axle Boots.

Bad greasy badness!

The axle boots are the rubber accordion style gaskets that go on the inside of the front axles, between the front axle housing and the rear of the brake and hub assembly.  The military, in all of their infinite wisdom, standardized on a zippered booty system.  There are some advantages to this system, namely that they can be replaced in the field with minimal fuss without having to take apart the entire front end of their vehicles.  The down side is that they are less durable, and typically start leaking from the zipper itself in a matter of one or two years.  Sure enough, mine were leaking.  Leaking Green Gobbery Goo Snot, also known as axle grease.


Now, I had some hard decisions to make.  The first piece of bad news was that I really couldn't drive the ICD in its current state, as I was worried about damaging things if I lost too much grease out of the axle.  I wasn't in danger of that yet, but if I kept driving her, it would only be a matter of time.  Next was whether or not to replace the ripped booties with another set of zippered ones, or to replace them with a single piece non-zippered boot.  I spoke with some friends, and started doing some research on the web.  I was leaning towards doing the zippered ones, as it would be much, much faster, but my friend Joe Alig (the Imperial Car Destroyer's Chief Electrical Engineer) talked me into doing the job correctly.  With a non-zippered boot I wouldn't need to replace it as often, and it was going to be less prone to get dust and other nasty stuff into my axle.  I made the order and started to psyche myself up for the job.  It was going to be HUGE.

The supplies...

In order to prep for this job, I read and reread this fantastic post and walk-through of this very same task I found on Steel Soldiers.  The write-up by Banshee365 was fantastic.  I have no idea who that guy is, but I want to give a huge shout out to him saying thanks!  You can find his excellent post here.  I started going through the list of supplies I would need, as well as specialty tools.  I ordered the following supplies and tools:

• 20 Ton Bottle Jack
• Pair of 6 ton jack stands
• 3" 8 sided socket
• 8 tubs of axle grease
• One box of nitrite gloves
• 2 gallons of 80w90 gear oil
• Pack of shop towels
• (2) Axle boots
• (2) Inner hub seal
• (2) Outer hub seal
• (2) Cans of PB Blaster
• (3) Cans of brake cleaner
• One box of trash bags

I planned on using hand tools I already owned, and air tools as needed (have to keep leveraging the investment in that nice air compressor - working out great!).  As fate would have it, I would end up purchasing many more tools before the project was over, but I get ahead of myself.  Supplies in hand, I was ready to get this project started!  One last thing I should mention is that I also downloaded the TM's for all of the relevant repairs I would be making.  Steel Soldiers has a link to them off of their site here.

Back when my rod was straight...

So, first things first - Step One, remove the lug nuts in preparation to take the wheels off!  No problem, right?  I had already found the tools to do so in my utility box (see previous post on Treasure Hunting) so it was simply time to bust them out.  I did so, got the 1.5" socket on the lugs (that's a HUGE socket by the way.  Go check your local tool store and see if they even carry something that big.  I bet you they won't) and got to work.  I put on the three foot solid steel extension bar and heaved with all my might.  Nothing.  I had sprayed PB Blaster on the lugs and let them soak in overnight (more like a few days), but I blaster some more in there just in case.  I then went and got Cricket, and she and I stood on the steel bar and bounced up and down for a while, trying to break the lugs free.  It was fun (bouncing with the wife always is!) but in the end all we ended up with is a bent rod (which is not fun, especially with the wife!).

So, no dice.  Time to call up my buddy Joe and ask him to bring down his 3/4" torque bar.  The thing is a beast.  It goes up to 600 foot pounds of torque, and could be used to kill a zombie in a pinch!  He pulled up in his old Mercedes 240D and unlimbered the giant black case from the back of the car.  It reminded me of a sniper deploying and setting up his hardware.  In my head theme music was playing as he strode forward purposefully.  And yes, this kind of thing does indeed go through my head all of the time.

We put on the 1.5" socket on the end of the beast and started pulling.  The torque readings kept on increasing, three hundred, four hundred, five hundred, six hundred foot pounds of pressure!  And yet, the lugs didn't even budge.  Joe wisely decided not to run the risk of destroying his beautiful torque wrench, so we sadly set the beast aside.  What were we to do?

Never one to give up, we hopped in the car and started driving to auto shops.  I was simply going to buy a bad ass impact wrench and be done with it.  Ends up, no place in Santa Cruz sells 3/4" drive impact wrenches.  I know.  I visited every single one of them.  Okay, lots of time spent in a car, no closer to getting the lugs off my truck.  New idea - if we couldn't buy one, we would rent one!  So, I called A Tool Shed and asked if they had one.  Ends up, they did, but it was an electric one.  Desperate, I rushed right over.  When we got there, I was really impressed by the wrench.  It weighed about twenty pounds or more, and looked like a plasma rifle manufactured in the 1950s.  Bad ass!

Plasma rifle in the 50 watt range - this sucker has GOT to work!

Back at the truck, we crossed our fingers, sprayed some more PB Blaster on the lugs for good measure, and then started hammering.  The old metal electric impact wrench kicked like a mule and made a racket.  I could hear its hammer blows echoing down the street as I leaned into it.  I am pretty certain an old couple walking down the street stopped at the corner, reconsidered their evening, and just went back inside by the sight that befell them.  I may have laughed maniacally for a bit.  Just a bit.  Honest. 

Oh, the lugs you ask?  Oh, um... yeah.  They didn't budge.  Not even a bit.  Yes, they defeated the steel bar, the sniper torque wrench, AND the plasma rifle impact wrench.  And it was now dark.  Thoroughly depressed, I did the only sensible thing.  Drowned my sorrows in beer and cried on Joe's shoulder.  It was very manly, I swear.  Regrouping, I decided to head over the hill to San Jose and visit Harbor Freight, which I should have done in the first place.

I got a good night's sleep, hopped in the car, drove up to Joe's place, and headed over to The Pit - also known as San Jose.  Soon we stood in the parking lot of Mechanic Heaven - also known as Harbor Freight.  For someone just getting back into wrenching on vehicles again, Harbor Freight is a dream.  Relatively decent quality tools, for dirt cheap.  Sure, they are made in China by babies forced to eat burning tires and used motor oil, but hey - cheap tools!

Land of Cheap Tools!  Hallelujah Brother!

The new hotness!

I had to seriously restrain myself while I was there.  Who knew there were so many tools I just had to have! I purchased a 3/4" air impact wrench and a 3/4" drive impact socket set.  I also bought a larger air hose for my compressor (and some various bits) in order to properly supply enough air to the wrench.  I drove my purchases home (after dropping off Joe) and gloated over them for a while, rubbing my hands in expectation.  NOW I had some serious firepower.  Er, air power.  What ever.  This HAD to work!

Crossing my fingers, and invoking the Great Automotive Gods Click and Clack, and hooked the sucker up and fired up the air compressor.  With a squeeze of the trigger the impact wrench kicked in my hands and the lug nut spun free!  Free at last!  FREEDOM!  I sat there, staring at the lug nut, now off the wheel, and grinned stupidly.  Only them did it dawn on me that I had just spent my entire weekend I had reserved for doing the axle boot job on Step One - remove lug nuts.  My smile slid off my face, dribbled down the driveway, and went down the drain.

I put the lug back on, and recommitted myself to attacking this job ASAP.  Which, coincidentally, will bring up to our next post.  Keep reading to see how it all turns out!  I promise to post the next one in a much more timely manner!  Honest!